And I am sitting at my desk right now thinking about a message a friend just sent me. And in this instant as I read her words, I am completely changing the blog I was about to write – because there are NO co-incidences!!!

I am always working on myself to be present, to sit with life as it is and enjoy. Really, truly, deeply enjoy the moment. I have read countless articles and books on the subject, have failed spectacularly at it and also made some headway with being present and allowing the flow of life rather than the futile resistance that is often our daily practice.

This week I came across a quote which really resonated with me on the subject – sometimes it’s all in the wording.

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” Leo Buscaglia

WOW. Just sit with that. Then read it again. Even though I knew this, reading it in just these words had a new impact. One I don’t want to just forget. When I think of how often I have robbed myself of today’s joy living in a “possible” future moment (one that by the way was a very interesting story I had totally made up and wasn’t actually confirmed or real), well it’s not so pretty to think about.

YES YES, I can almost hear you thinking – I have heard this all before, I know we should be present. Blah Blah Blah. I think like this too sometimes! But back to that text I just got. And the reason it had me totally switch my topic in an instant.

This not being present pervades so many areas of our lives that we don’t even notice it. Here is what the message was about – that she was going to pass on an outing today in favour of hanging out at home (perfectly GREAT idea!). What got me is the reason:  so she could “get ready for the week”.

I completely agree there is absolute merit in being prepared, not rushing around tomorrow and all that very valuable stuff, in fact I am a huge advocate of it. It’s just the words that struck me. Here it is, the hugely anticipated and highly coveted weekend. At last the chance to unwind and wash the week out of our hair!

I know in this case what she meant wasn’t necessarily that her whole day was consumed with ‘getting ready for tomorrow’, but the way she phrased it to herself and me sparked my interest. So often Saturday is all about coming off the week, trying to get in relax mode and working out how much we have to fit in this glorious weekend. And then comes Sunday and we tell ourselves we’d better get ready for the week. What just happened?

Two days slipped by and did we really live them? I’m not suggesting that we should cram every possible fun activity and event into the weekend. In fact, I am a fan of just the opposite. Simplicity. Relaxing. Taking time to slow down. What I am thinking is that we can fall into the trap of letting both days go by in a haze and not actually live either of them. One moment we are detoxing from the week, the next we are thinking about the one yet to come.

The best thing that I can wish for you and myself is that everyday (not just weekends) we plan a little, slow down a little and LIVE a lot.

LIVES OF A WOMAN. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Shine Brightly, Live lightly

Elli J xx

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COULDA WOULDA SHOULDA

Why? Because if there is one thought process I would love to drop the most, it would be that. Looking back and wishing things were different, that my decisions were different. Such a futile torturous timewaster…

Happy NYE!! Resolution No. 1: Be kind to myself...

How many times will we say this to ourselves??
We (aka, I) literally shoulda woulda coulda all over ourselves.
Over and over and over …. And then some more again.
It’s a broken record that can’t be fixed.
I once heard a great way of looking at past decisions.
That looking back and wishing another choice is so unfair.
Because in the moment we made it we most likely felt good about the choice.
In that it was the the thing to do.
It was the right choice at the time.
How cruel to ourselves to think back that it should have been otherwise.
It was right then.
You cannot look back and judge yourself now, at a different time and place.

Yet we do.

And that is totally unfair… To yourself.

Have you heard that great expression:

“Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans” ??

Can we just stop trying to get there and just be?? Just a little more would make a BIG difference… You have heard that a million times, maybe more, right? Me too. But I seem to keep forgetting, just a little bit!

Let’s just keep giving it our best shot. Because life happens, here, right now. And maybe the best plan and resolution for 2012 is just to live…

Happy Happy 2012 – may you be kind to yourself and others

LIVES OF A WOMAN. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Shine Brightly, Live lightly

Elli J xx

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1. Happy New Year!…..Resolution Time!

Having just moved house I forgot just how much work it really is. But more importantly, how much power ‘stuff’ really can have over us.

And guess what – I am not very much of a hoarder. No storage area or garage. I often move things on I am not using like clothes, furniture, things in the kitchen. I have to live a little more compact based on apartment living. So I thought I was doing pretty well. In fact I have been in BIG de-clutter mode for the last year or so as a personal experiment on the joy of living with less – not missing out, just simpler.

More peaceful.

But even with all these attempts at simplicity, I still managed to fill about 70 boxes. How does that happen? Where did it all come from. And how was I going to unpack it all at the other end?

Are you carting around too much stuff?!?!

So that leaves 20 boxes. I almost want to forget they even exist. I have been surviving without them just fine!

Here is what I know. Stuff can get in the way of the life you could be living. My stuff is not who I am. It is not my past or my future. It is not my memories – even though there are some amazing things worth keeping like photos – as long as I have the space to enjoy them – that’s what they are meant for afterall.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE stuff. I just don’t want it to have power over me. I don’t want to live through my stuff. I want to enjoy it. Cherish it. Use it. And when I am done with it, make room for new stuff that makes my heart sing.

For this much I am sure about. I don’t miss out with less stuff. It’s just the opposite. I have more time, more space, more peace (oh and more money too!!), and I can experience life in all it’s greatness without having to climb over a mountains worth of stuff first…

LIVES OF A WOMAN. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Shine Brightly, Live lightly

Elli J xx

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1. The Power of Simple
2. What “STUFF” are you coveting…??

At least that’s been my experience.

Moving so fast towards a million goals we don’t have a moment to see what it is that actually lights us up now.

Recently I had the utmost pleasure in stopping and finding out what that is for me – sunshine, movement, concentration on my breath, nature, a routine around this – a committment to what this does for me. 5 miuntes, 10 minutes, an hour – whatever – just some time where I can stop and start my day the way I intend it to continue. Sound familiar? I knew all about this for a long time, but I didn’t really get it until I stopped and experienced just what this does for ME and how powerful and profound it can be. It may well be something different for YOU.

What is delicious... for YOU?

All I know is when I took a few days out and let myself be guided, within 24 hours I was a new girl. And it was all so simple. So easy. Just one day and I felt my soul had been rejuvenated. Within 3 days I felt deeply re-connected to some of the parts of me I had forgotten to love. For me, I had to go to a retreat to experience this shift (you know… all the stuff I knew ‘intellectually’ but wasn’t practicing regularly enough), but the speed at which it happened only served to highlight that it doesn’t take much to change the way you feel. That there is so much we can be doing to profoundly change our experience of life.

I write this becuase it makes a difference. To take care of yourself. How you start your day, the moments you take to relax, stretch, meditate, walk, take a bath, read, eat well – whatever you love, do it, try it, not just one day, but everyday. Because it is the little daily actions that ultimately make up your life.

Your own ‘spiritual’ practice could be a multitude of things. Recently I took a trip interstate and spent a few days languishing in no plans, no-one to be with, nowhere particular to be. I found myself wandering, observing, eating. A gorgeous moment in a gorgeous cafe. You know, when the taste is delectable. It’s just you, peace, finding your way in your own company. Stop, beautiful patisserie, divine lemongrass tea and apple danish. A book. Myself.

Not just about eating. Experiencing every bite with just me. Slow. Delicious.

Walking instead of a taxi. Sunshine. New sights. A cool bridge. Life. Exploring. Being ok to be with me. My thoughts. My adventure.

A little shopping. My favourite chocolate shop for a hot chocolate and gifts for people I love. Dinner by myself. Lovely. Back to basics. I am enough.

Find yourself and cherish YOU. It is delicious…

LIVES OF A WOMAN. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Shine Brightly, Live lightly

Elli J xx

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2. Oprah’s Love Letter to us…

No Expectations....

Check it out below – it comes from a wonderful blog I highly recommend called ZENHABITS.NET and this article was written by its’s founder – Leo Babauta. Thank you Leo for summing it up so perfectly – I hope you don’t mind that we have re-posted your blog below: ( link to go directly to the article: http://zenhabits.net/light/ )

The Elements of Living Lightly

“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.” ~Eckhart Tolle (via The Mindfulist)

Post written by Leo Babauta.

Today I’m going to suggest a small change in mindset that could change your life.

I won’t keep you in suspense. Here it is: think of nothing that happens as either good or bad. Stop judging, and stop expecting.

It’s a tiny change — all you have to do is say, ‘That wasn’t good or bad, it just happened, it just is.’ It’s tiny, but it takes practice, and amazingly, it can knock you on your ass.

Why? Because with this little change, you will no longer be swayed up and down depending on whether good things or bad things happen to you, whether people (and their actions) are good or bad. You will learn to accept things as they are, and move within that landscape mindfully.

You will no longer expect good things to happen (or bad things), but will just take things as they come, and be content with whatever comes. This means you’ll no longer be disappointed, or unhappy.

“When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad.”
~Lao Tzu

A Little Exercise

Think of something good that happened to you recently, and how it affected your mindset. Now think of something bad that happened, and what that did to your mindset.

Now imagine that neither event was good, and neither was bad. They simply happened, existed.

How does that change how you would have felt as a result of those events? How does it change your happiness, your mood? How does it change what you do in reaction?

When you stop judging things as good or bad, you are no longer burdened by the emotions of this judgment, and can live lighter, freer.

Nothing is good or bad

Hamlet said, ‘There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.’

He was right. Without the human mind, things just happen, and they are not good or bad. It’s only when we apply the filter of our judgment that they become good or bad, beautiful or ugly.

A weed is only a weed when we don’t like it. Children are only naughty if we don’t like their actions. Life only sucks if you judge it as bad.

But what about truly horrible tragedies, like a plague or tsunami or the Holocaust? Surely those are bad? Sure, through the lens of the judgment we’ve been raised to make, they are terrible. But then again, remove the judgment, and then … they simply happened. Death and cruelty will probably always make us sad, but they’ve always happened and always will, whether we like them or hate them.

Holocaust survivor and author Victor Frankl wrote of a rich woman who went through the Holocaust, and who was grateful for the experience, as much as she suffered, because it opened her eyes. It transformed her. I’m not saying the Holocaust was good, but perhaps we can say that it happened. It serves as a lesson — one we should heed, by the way, in these days of politically charged hatred, of blaming our ills on immigrants and minorities.

There are other tragedies that happen that aren’t necessarily bad. They’re devastating losses, without a doubt, but in life there are always losses, and people will always die. It’s how we judge them that determines our reaction, and determines whether we’re capable of dealing with it sanely.

Great Expectations

The second half of this change is just as small, but just as important: dropping expectations. Not lowering expectations, but eliminating them.

Think about it: when we have expectations, and things don’t go the way we expect (which happens quite often, as we’re not good prognosticators), we are disappointed, frustrated. It’s our expectations that force us to judge whether something is good or bad.

When you expect something of a friend, co-worker, family member, spouse, and they don’t live up to that expectation, then you are upset with them, or disappointed. It causes anger. But what if you had no expectations — then their actions would be neither good nor bad, just actions. You could accept them without frustration, anger, sadness.

What if you went on vacation, to a place you had high expectations of, and it wasn’t what you thought it’d be? You’d be bitterly disappointed, even though it’s not the fault of that place — that’s just how the place is. It’s your expectations that are at fault.

When people disappoint you, it’s not their fault. They’re just being who they are. Your expectations are at fault.

The Why

But why make this change? Why should we stop judging? Why should we stop expecting?

Because judgments stop us from understanding, and can ruin our happiness. When we judge, we don’t seek to understand — we’ve already come to a conclusion. If we stop judging, we allow ourselves to try to understand, and then we can take a much smarter course of action, because we’re better informed by our understanding.

Judging makes us unhappy. So do expectations.

When we leave judgment behind, we can live in the moment, taking what comes as neither good or bad, but simply what is. We can stop ruining our happiness with our thinking, and start living instead.

The How

So how do we start doing this? In small steps, as always.

1 First, start by being more aware. Throughout the course of the day today, note when you make judgments, note when you have expectations, and when things don’t live up to them. Over time, you’ll notice this more and more, and be much more conscious of these types of thoughts.

2 Next, pause each time you notice a judgment or expectation. Take a breath. Then tell yourself, “No expectations, no good or bad.” Repeat this, letting go of the judgment or expectation.

3 Third, seek to see things as they are, and to understand. Be curious as to why things are the way they are, why people act the way they act. Investigate, empathize, try to put yourself in people’s shoes. See the landscape of your life as it actually is, without the filter of judgments or expectations.

4 Next, take what comes. Experience it, in the moment. React appropriately, without overreacting because it isn’t as you hoped or wanted. You can’t
control life, or others, but you can control how you react.

5 Then, accept. When things happen, understand why they do, without judgment, and accept them as they are. Accept people for who they are. Accept yourself, without judgment, as you are. This takes practice.

6 Finally, know that the present moment, being as it is, also contains infinite possibilities. And those possibilities are opened up once you see things as they are, without judgment or expectations.

Thanks again Leo – I hope our community has enjoyed your article as much as I did…

LIVES OF A WOMAN. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Shine Brightly, Live lightly

Elli J xx

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I did and I was in awe of all that this amazing lady has done…. for us. And I hope for herself too. I was so touched by her words and what she shared summed up some of the greatest things we could ever hope to know as the loving, giving, stretched to the limit beautiful women we are.

Oprah's Last show...

THANK YOU SO MUCH OPRAH.

My heart felt so blessed as I watched the most eloquent summary of 25 very special years. You showed us how to love ourselves, to be ourselves and to know just how important WE are. And as Oprah summarised a quarter of a century I started to realise just how much of an impact she had on ME. I thought of the books I had read becasue she brought them to my attention. I even remember one of the first fascinating books that started me on the road to exploring the human self – “The Road Less Traveled” by M.Scott Peck. It obviously had an impact, becasue I can remember it vividly. Where did I find out about it? Oprah.

I’ve cried with her. Laughed with her. Been surprised with her. And most wonderfully, learnt a heck of a lot with her.

And here are some of the things that stood out to me that she said on that last show – the things she hoped her show brought most to us. I am sharing them here because if we can live our lives with these ideals, then we will have achieved more than I dare hope for all of us…

“I remember I got a letter from a woman named Carrie in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Carrie said, ‘Oprah, watching you be yourself makes me want to be more of myself.’ That was and still remains one of the nicest things I ever heard. What Carrie felt is what I wanted for every single one of you.”

“What I knew for sure from this experience with you is that we are all called. Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it… And that is what I want for all of you and hope that you will take from this show. To live from the heart of yourself. You have to make a living; I understand that. But you also have to know what sparks the light in you so that you, in your own way, can illuminate the world.”

“Each one of you has your own platform. Do not let the trappings here fool you. Mine is a stage in a studio, yours is wherever you are with your own reach, however small or however large that reach is. Maybe it’s 20 people, maybe it’s 30 people, 40 people, your family, your friends, your neighbors, your classmates, your classroom, your co-workers. Wherever you are, that is your platform, your stage, your circle of influence. That is your talk show, and that is where your power lies. In every way, in every day, you are showing people exactly who you are. You’re letting your life speak for you. And when you do that, you will receive in direct proportion to how you give in whatever platform you have.”

“ Nobody but you is responsible for your life. It doesn’t matter what your mama did; it doesn’t matter what your daddy didn’t do. You are responsible for your life. … You are responsible for the energy that you create for yourself, and you’re responsible for the energy that you bring to others.”

“There is a common thread that runs through all of our pain and all of our suffering, and that is unworthiness. Not feeling worthy enough to own the life you were created for…the show has taught me you’re worthy because you are born and because you are here. Your being here, your being alive makes worthiness your birthright. You alone are enough.”

“I’ve talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common: They all wanted validation. If I could reach through this television and sit on your sofa or sit on a stool in your kitchen right now, I would tell you that every single person you will ever meet shares that common desire. They want to know: ‘Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?… Try it with your children, your husband, your wife, your boss, your friends. Validate them. ‘I see you. I hear you. And what you say matters to me.’”

“Even when I didn’t have a name for it, I could feel the voice bigger than myself speaking to me, and all of us have that same voice… . You can praise it, you can ignore it or you can know it. Know it. It’s always there speaking to you and waiting for you to hear it in every move, in every decision. I wait and I listen. I’m still—I wait and listen for the guidance that’s greater than my meager mind.  The only time I’ve ever made mistakes is when I didn’t listen.’

Gratitude is the single greatest treasure I will take with me from this experience.

Thank you Oprah for 25 amazing years!

Thank you Oprah. For bringing us the BEST of who we are and for giving us your best, never missing even ONE show.

And I would like to share this one final moment that makes me feel so great about LIVES OF A WOMAN and why we hope to share with you more joy and love with each passing day:

“This show always allows people, hopefully, to understand the power they have to change their own lives. If there’s one thread running through each show we do, it is the message that you are not alone.”

And that is our tagline and the truth.

LIVES OF A WOMAN. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Shine Brightly, Live lightly

Elli J xx

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Ok, so I am generalising that we all do this, but I know this rings very true in my circle of girlfriends, myself included. So if this picture doesn’t feel familiar to you, then perhaps you have worked out something I am only getting too, albeit it very slowly. And that is how to channel all that love energy into somewhere truly beautiful first… ourselves.

Sound familiar? Sound cliched? Sound too hard? Maybe it is all of those things but it’s time

Time to Vote for Yourself. 

Yes... what you think counts the most

So what exactly does that mean? Well I just heard that term earlier this week when I was reading an article from relationship expert Rori Raye and it really struck a cord with me, so much so her words are worth repeating here:

What if your love life depended on a vote?
What’s the first thing that came to your mind when I asked that question?
Did you think about your man voting for YOU?
In other words, voting for you as the woman of his dreams, the woman he wants to be with forever?
That’s the way I always looked at it – as though I were RUNNING for the office of “girlfriend,” or “wife.”
Looking back – it was as if I were draping myself in my credentials, showing off my skills, like “niceness,” and “understanding,” and “sexy,” and “smart,” and “funny,” and so many other things I thought he’d “love” about me – things I thought would make him fall in love with me forever.
And, of course – none of those things mean ANYTHING when it comes to a man FALLING IN LOVE.
A man does not fall for “qualities.”
A man just “FALLS.”
And then he automatically “votes” for you for girlfriend and wife – because he can’t even see himself without you.
So – how do you really get his vote?
How do you get him to fall?
Well – first, you have to vote for YOURSELF.
Okay – this sounds so obvious.
You say – “Well, of COURSE I’m voting for myself!” You say “I want to be THE ONE!”
But let’s take a closer look.
Because – if you’re finding yourself thinking about him all the time, worrying about how he feels all the time, stressing about every woman he comes in contact with and speaks to, every beautiful, sexy woman he LOOKS at – even on TV – then are you REALLY voting for yourself?
I think what we women do is – we’re sort of instinctively voting for the other woman – we sort of think she’s the one who should get our man (otherwise, why would we be jealous?)
We’re sort of instinctively voting for the FAILURE of our relationship.
Everyone WANTS their candidate to win, and yet it’s this FEAR that he will lose that is filling up our feelings 24 hours a day.
We are more focused on the possibility of losing than we are on the possibility of winning.
And that changes our “vibe.” In our relationships – when we focus on the possibility of losing, or that he’s drifting away or withdrawing – our whole sense of confidence and ease and sensuality and relaxation goes away.
We suddenly become tense and anxious, worried and frightened, and we ANTICIPATE the worst.
We become sensitive to everything a man says or does – even if it truly has nothing at all to do with us.
We stop voting for ourselves.

I love how Rori writes about Voting for Yourself. I have read the above extract from her several times. Because I know we far too often forget to vote for ourselves, so much so, we almost put up a white flag and hand our heart over on a platter losing ourselves in the process as well.

So my purpose is to get you (and me) just thinking about this idea. What if we could love as beautifully as we do, as passionately as we do, with one condition. That we remember why we want to love so much in the first place. To be happy. To experience the delicious joy of love. And that is pretty hard to accomplish if we give the race away before it’s even begun…

What do you think girls? I think its time to VOTE for YOURSELF.

Shine Brightly Live Lightly

Elli J x

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Why are people generally in such bad moods as they go about their day? Why do we miss the fact that this is all we have – each moment, each day, this is it. Why aren’t we kinder to eachother? Why do people kinda love drama and being angry over nothingness?

WHY WHY WHY ???

I ask that knowing sometimes we do get angry and that’s ok too. But why over the nothing stuff? – that’s what I am referring to here.

I am not even talking about the BIG things. It’s the little things that have got me typing away! Actually it’s the way people regularly ASSUME why you did something or what is going on in a given situation.

Don't Assume...

So this post is about why ASSUMING is NOT COOL…

We make assumptions all day long about why he said, she said, they did, this happened, it must mean, and on and on. And here is a simple example of what I am talking about that happened to me twice over the last few months:

Have you ever found yourself in a public carpark accidentally going the wrong way? Every now and then I do. The second last time was a few months ago. I didn’t realise, but as I safely passed an older gentleman in his car, he made it his business to let me know just how rude I am for doing so. You should have seen the look on his face. I wanted to yell out this to him but I kept quite “Yep, I got up this morning just with the intention of annoying you (well the words I was actually thinking weren’t quite as polite!).

The last time was a few days ago. Again I took a wrong turn and by the time I realised, it was a little late to do anything but safely move on through the carpark and get back on track. As a lady passed me with that familiar look of disgust, I thought to do the right thing. I wound down my window and said ‘sorry about that, these things happen’ thinking that would help and plus it was TRUE. Nope, no such luck.

She wanted to be angry. She wanted to have her say about what a bad person I was for this. She yelled something back at me – it was so fast and high pitched I couldn’t tell what the words were, but the sentiment was clear – she was not happy! But no-one had been inconvenienced, we all moved safely on.

If you are reading this the lady in the car who screamed at me, please know this. I didn’t do it to annoy you or to get my kicks. I made a simple honest mistake. I have a feeling you have done the same as well. And we both will do it again. Please stop assuming we are all out to do wrong towards one another. Most of us aren’t.

All I am saying is that everyday we ASSUME a lot of things. That assuming can cause a lot of sadness and drama. And worst of all, anger within ourselves. For what purpose?

Perhaps we could go a little easier on eachother, practice a little more kindness and wait before we pounce…

Can anyone else relate??

Shine Brightly Live Lightly

Elli J x

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I found that concept hard to believe at first but after a period of what seemed like a lot of activity, I realized I was burnt out and not really progressing.

When do my happiest best ideas come? When I stop to have a bath. A bit of space and calm and great things can happen. Lights and TV out a little earlier too – world of difference.

Small changes. BIG impact.

I loved an idea I read today in a blog about your older self writing a letter to your current self. What advice would you give her?

I have been thinking about this today. And what I know for sure? I wouldn’t be advising late nights filled with mindless busyness cloaked in the guise of progressing, or worse, thinking I was relaxing! No, instead I would say: value yourself and your time, and value your space. No one else will, quite like you.

So I am embarking on a stepped up (but slowed down!) lifestyle cleanse. That’s what I need. Because I know my older self most certainly isn’t going to say she wished I had more late nights, bad food, crazy rushing or long hours watching the TV or staring at some sort of screen way to far past midnight. No, she would advise getting my life in order would be the best thing I ever did!! Far from boring, it would free my spirit up more than I ever knew was possible.

So now the how? I don’t know the answer to that yet. Can you help? I really want to get into this. I am going to look at every corner of my life. And I am going to bring in more balance and simplicity. I have been doing this, but I still feel like I am on a treadmill, albeit a little slower and more pleasant than a year ago.

Savouring Simplicity

The other thing that’s really intrigued me is an article by Martha Beck in Oprah Magazine that talked about goals. She said to take a goal you have and consider the ‘feelings’ you think this goal is going to give you. Because after all, it’s the feelings we are really wanting. And in doing that, we may realise other ways to get these or perhaps we haven’t noticed what is already available to us. And maybe the ‘thing’ goal we have isn’t actually going to cut it when it’s all said and done. What is it we really want and how can we get it. Less Stuff, MORE LIFE!! That’s my new motto.

YES!! That’s it. It’s only all coming to me as I calmly but excitedly write this blog in a coffee shop. It will involve a lot of well thought out organising, researching and discipline (sounds YUK but apparently it’s a great thing!). But my goal is no longer a thing, or the perfect man or more ‘stuff’. It’s that amazing experience of harmony and joy. A life of LOVE.

And that could be in the last place I thought to look when my goals were about exact things rather than the real truth of it – the feelings I want to feel and the vision I hold for my space, internally and externally.

See you on these pages as it all unfolds. One corner at a time, I am going to cleanse my life. It’s coming… and it’s way overdue.

Fingers crossed.

Shine Brightly Live Lightly

Elli J x

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2. So What Now 2011???
3. Oprah’s Love Letter to us…

Ok. So now 2011 is starting to roll along so fast and it got me thinking about how we are all going with those New Years Resolutions.

And rather than looking at the year as a task filled with resolutions to tick off and then forget about, there is one major thing I want to keep top of mind. And not just say it, but think it, feel it and LIVE IT.  I hope for you this may also mean something.

The Year is speeding along...

A lot of this journey of self awareness has been about getting back to basics. That’s been the BIG surprise. And finding my ME instead of focusing, let’s call it obsessing, about what others, um and particularly what ‘he’ is thinking. Or maybe not thinking…

No matter how many things, amazing things, we have in our lives, and it pains me to say this – we women often still find intimate relationships at the top of our list… it’s often what we focus on the most and yet find the most challenging.

So why the drama? No, really, why? Well along the way I have noticed desiring external validation and lots of expectations doesn’t help. Serious mental chatter. Thoughts based on nothing but my imagination. You know, kind of unresourceful stuff. Lots of storytelling… to ourselves.

I was relaxing for 20 minutes on New Years Day and really noticed the situation overload in my head. I don’t think it was so much that one glass of champagne I had welcoming in the New Year as it was the noisy chatter in my head giving me a headache.

A novel could have been written out of the discourse going on not so quietly in my mind. He didn’t, she said, they must have, why, but, how, he shouldn’t have, should have, blah, blah, blah…

And then something BIG dawned on my. Recently I had some time to myself without my partner. I was relaxed. Happy. Going about my day being me, smiling, dancing in the kitchen, lighting candles at night. Quiet. Less self chatter. We connected during the period, a few good conversations and great laughs. He was busy with family and I became busy with MYSELF.

I didn’t need to bother with what he was thinking, what he was doing and why etc. I just got on with being me. In my business where I belong. This was all that much easier because we weren’t in the same space so I mentally switched off all the need for that. I missed him, but in a good way, happy for us both doing our own thing.

And now he is in the next room. And that’s where you can find my thoughts. Is that why they call it ‘out of your mind’?

So that’s the big A-HA. My lightbulb moment. I need to stay in my own heart, my own business. Not worrying what someone else “might” be thinking or doing.

Because the peace on the other side is just beautiful. It really is when you look at this as more than merely words…

With that said, I have my most important ALL Year Resolution.

And a toast to the Michael Buble song “Haven’t Met You Yet” – with a slight twist, I will be thinking of meeting ME… looking forward to when I finally do.

Shine Brightly Live Lightly

Elli J x

oh and ps Michael Buble your concert was spectacular… really spirit lifting

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